Nursery shopping … from bed

[Sunday, July 30]

I didn’t sleep well again, reaffirming the need for Gravol still. I woke up early as usual and read a baby names book for hipsters. It had some good names and a lot of horrible names, but it poked fun at all them making it very confusing.

Jesse left to run some errands and my job was to finally just choose a crib and order it. Since finding out I was pregnant I had scoped out a few cribs online but just couldn’t pull the trigger for some reason … and then they’d end up being out of stock.

The style I like is clean and minimal and there are surprisingly few models around in our budget. Cribs can range from $100-$1000+ easily and I’ve noticed that most stores carry ones in the $400+ range. I looked for second hand cribs online but there were few that I liked. The few I found were not that cheap (and often admitted to having bite marks in them).

A tried to order a cheaper crib I liked from Walmart.ca. Can websites please make it more obvious when items are out of stock? I had actually added it to my cart and went to check out before it notified me that it was unavailable. Doh!

So I had to order my next choice, the Status Violet, which I really love but it costs almost $100 more.

My next task was to find a changing table. I chose the South Shore Cookie which shared the same clean lines and minimal style of my crib. I also like the mix of a soft grey with white. The reviews aren’t phenomenal for quality since it’s on the cheaper end of a dresser/change table combo, but people did seem to think it was good value for the price.

My mom made and brought us a homemade vegan mac and cheez for dinner. Delicious! Then it was time for the much anticipated new Game of Thrones episode.

The weekend

[Saturday, July 29]

I had been sleeping in our spare room during the week. The bed was a bit easier for me to get in and out of and I didn’t want to keep Jesse up all night with my Netflix watching and restless sleep (or lack there of).

Since Gravol had greatly improved my quality and quantity of sleep, I moved back into our bed Friday night with all my many pillows. I’m sure glad we have a king bed now! I had another decent sleep.

I woke up early, as seems to be my routine, and wrote my “Some bad news” blog post. It received a lot views throughout the day and I felt touched that so many people cared to read my story. In retrospect, I hope the title wasn’t too click bait-y.

To minimize the amount of stairs, I try to only go down to the kitchen/living room floor a few times a day. This means that I’ve been saying “Next time you come up, can you bring me …” or “When you go downstairs, can you get …” and then usually some sort of snack.

I cannot say enough about how amazing Jesse has been taking care of me through all this. It definitely isn’t an easy on him either. He has to do all the stuff that normally two of us would tackle like cleaning and grocery shopping on top of going to work/school and making sure I have everything I need.

Speaking of which, I gave Jesse a list of stuff I wanted and he went out that afternoon to run some errands. The list included the previously mentioned teddy bear and blanket, PJ shorts (XL because I can’t stand any tightness around my waist), a baby name book, and a breast pump … probably not something a lot of dads-to-be go and purchase on their own.

Usually I do a lot of research on big ticket items but I really just didn’t know anything about breast pumps. I asked Jesse to go to one of the baby stores, talk to someone knowledgeable, and buy the best one. The only thing I was told was to get a double.

Meanwhile, I layed in bed all day getting bored. I watched the Incredible Jessica James on Netflix, which I actually assumed was a TV show until half way through when I realized it’s a movie. It was pretty funny.

Next I watched the movie Okja. I only had a vague idea what it was about and it was more depressing than I had anticipated. Damnit, I was trying to keep things light! It’s a strange and interesting movie but I don’t know if it’s for everyone. I assume Netflix knows that I’m (mostly) vegan due to this recommendation.

Pregnant couples are encouraged to take a tour of their hospital beforehand to familiarize them with the maternity ward. Obviously that’s not something I can do right now so I found a video tour of my hospital’s NICU online. Turns out the facilities are amazing there!

Jesse returned with his shopping spoils. He got the bear and blanket, about five pairs of PJ shorts (on sale!), the “Cadillac” of breast pumps, three baby name books, and a Mamaroo, a high-end, futuristic-looking infant swing, also on sale.

Warm baths have become part of my bed rest routine. I have one most nights before bed to relax my muscles. It’s also too hot the rest of the day to sit in warm water. I forgot to pop a Gravol this night unfortunately.

Processing …

[Friday, July 28]

Thursday had been an emotional day but I woke up more positive in the morning. Thanks to the Gravol, I was well rested (or at least decently rested) and my abdominal pain was down a few notches too. I felt more capable to handle the uncertainty.

Jesse dropped me off at my parents’ house again on the way to his last day of work before going back to school for 2.5 months.

Obviously this didn’t turn out to be the best time for him to be off work but he had registered for the final year of his electrical apprenticeship schooling quite a while ago. We were hoping that he would finish up before or around the time baby came and I started maternity leave.

But life never goes as planned!

A nurse called in the morning to check in with me. She asked if I had heard back about any appointments and I said no. I had been under the impression that they would be set up really quickly. She let me know that it’s normal for it to take a week or two to get in and it’s a good sign that they aren’t rushing me in.

She did, however, suggest calling the obstetrician’s office that afternoon if I hadn’t been given an appointment yet. I later phoned them and they managed to squeeze me in August 15. I’m hoping that means there’s a good chance I’ll still be pregnant then!

I also had a great conversation on the phone with one of my midwife’s who has had two preterm babies. Besides the nurse, I hadn’t had an appointment or met with my midwives since the news. I told her I felt totally unprepared.

She gave me a rundown of how preterm labour would go, basically that there’d be more staff in the room and the baby would be taken away quickly to the NICU and could be there for a while, up to (or longer than) the due date even depending on their health. She said the facilities at my hospital are great and that there are private rooms for each baby.

She also reiterated that even if baby comes early, there’s not much that we need to have ready (great, because we have nothing!). And that we will have time to get everything in order. The only thing I may want to get soon is a breast pump and a blanket or something small to make the NICU room feel homey. The baby would not need clothes or blankets right away though.

I spent some time that evening picking out a little teddy bear and a blanket online for Jesse to pick up on the weekend. It gave me something to focus on and made me feel a little bit more prepared.

After posting about what was happening on Facebook yesterday, a friend had sent me a link to her blog about her daughter who was born at 28 weeks. I had started reading this and it helped give me a really good picture of what having a baby in the NICU is like.

It also inspired me to blog about my experiences, not only to keep friends and family updated but also in case it can help someone going through a similar situation in the future.

On that note, time for some real talk. I don’t know how my situation will turn out. On one hand I’m being prepared for if the baby comes early, on another hand I’m being told this is all a precaution. Sometimes I feel like I’m being over-dramatic fearing that labour is imminent. Why am I even crying? Nothing has actually happened yet. And I’ve heard lots of stories of women who show early warning signs of labour and go on to carry to full term or close to it.

As I continue to process my situation and catch up on my sleep deficit, I feel more positive and able to handle the uncertainty. Even best case scenario, I’m on bed rest for many weeks longer which is its own challenge, but a sacrifice I’m only too happy to make.